I used to be an avid reader, devouring countless books each year. But this year has been different—I’ve struggled to stay motivated and rarely finish a book (Yes, there’s still A LOT in my TBR list). Either way, I thought I needed a light, fun read and found this book. I’m so glad I did because it’s EXACTLY what I needed right now.
I lost my mom last February, and while my family and I are doing our best to carry on, nothing truly prepares you for the loss of a parent. As soon as I heard the news, my knee-jerk reaction was to busy myself–I opened F2F classes one after the other, took on as much ‘work’ as I could, and made sure my calendar was filled to the brim so I won’t have the time (or brain cells) to even wallow in the death of my mother.
“Grief isn’t the only byproduct of a death. And death isn’t just subtraction. You’re left with a treasure of memories that can be triggered by sights, sounds, smells—a record of how my life enriched yours.”
Now that life feels more settled, I find myself gravitating toward blogging as a way to decompress. It feels more reflective and grounding compared to some of my more ‘active’ hobbies like skating or vlogging.
As grim as the title sounds, this book is actually an entertaining and enjoyable read—especially with the added charm of its many illustrations. What I loved most, though, is how much of the author’s perspective resonated with me on a personal level. Just like these illustrations:
Growing up, my mom was adamant about keeping us away from sports or activities that might leave a scar. As an aesthetician, she often emphasized the importance of caring for our skin—a reflection of her profession. Because of this, I never learned how to skate until last year, when I finally decided to give it a shot.
I even brought my skates to one of my hospital duty shifts, hoping to entertain both myself (since I usually took the graveyard shift staying with her), my sister, and my mom. I vividly remember her watching me nervously and admitting how much it scared her to see me rolling around, worried I might take a tumble.
My heart aches deeply every time I think of my mom. Even now, I wish she were still here with us. I feel like I rushed to “move on,” putting on a cheerful face while my soul is still wailing. Inside, I feel like a ticking time bomb, ready to burst into tears at the slightest trigger—a memory, a small mention of her, or even the faintest reminder of the love and warmth she gave.
“Memories will come to you in waves, unbidden.”
I remember deliberately timing my arrival so I wouldn’t get there until the final day of her funeral. I was abroad when she passed, and the thought of facing people and talking about my mom felt overwhelming—something I just couldn’t handle at the time. So this page resonated so much to me as well:
In all the times I had to ride a plane since she passed, there’s not been a single trip where I haven’t cried. I miss her terribly and constantly wish she were still here with us. With that, I’ve made a conscious decision to spend more time with my siblings. Through this grief, I’ve come to realize how important it is to build new memories with my sisters while we’re still here—creating new traditions and moments to cherish together.
“If you lose someone important to you, you should try to replace that person. Because if you live your life losing and not replacing, you’ll end up at zero. I’m not saying you can replace your mother, and it won’t necessarily be an even trade, but I’d like you to try.”
I like this quote from the book because this is exactly how I felt when I was in Nashville back in September, after meeting all my aroma-mums. I felt an overwhelming sense of love from the people I look up to in the aromatherapy community. While I lost my biological mom, I truly felt as though I gained so many incredible motherly figures in return.
I loved this book because it felt like it was MY mom who was speaking directly to me–including all the recipes tucked inside its pages–the words felt like my own mother, gently yet persistently guiding me through the art of cooking. Unfortunately, I can’t say she has succeeded in teaching me the ways around the kitchen.
Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I breezed through its pages in just a few hours. As I read, I felt a deep sense of joy, as if it was my own mother sharing all her practical wisdom with me.
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